Insight

“Its prospects in the Senate are uncertain, however.”

How many times do you suppose you’ve heard that phrase, or some variation, from one journalist or another since the House of Representatives started cranking out the legislation composing the Republican “Contract With America”? It has been ubiquitous and nearly universally applied to contract items, from the line-item veto to welfare reform to tort reform to regulatory reform to tax cuts.

I would go so far as to say that it has been the single most common analytical observation offered by the chin-stroking, thumb-sucking Washington weenie pundit class since the start of the Republican 104th Congress in January. These days, it is almost beginning to rival the greatest pomposity of all time: “One thing is certain: Only time will tell.”

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Insight

Republicans in Congress, especially in the House, reacted to the arrival of the Mexican peso crisis like a bridegroom would welcome an ex-boyfriend of his bride crashing the wedding reception. Call it stunned incomprehension. Why is this happening?

Let’s put this into context: Here are the Republicans, busily and happily running the country. A few distractions along the way, to be sure – a book-deal flap here, a House-historian flap there. In addition, professional conservatives in town are cranky about the balanced-budget amendment and its tax-limitation provision as detailed in the GOP’s “Contract With America.”

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Insight

I had a meeting to go to in the Capitol shortly after the Nov. 8 election. On previous occasions, I’ve greeted the prospect of a visit there much the way a vegetarian would look forward to a trip to the stockyards. The problem is here.

The imperial Congress, the growth of government and of its intrusiveness into American life, the disingenuousness bordering on fraud in the legislative process – the whole catastrophe. In my darker moments, I could imagine the place as the center of evil in the universe, complete with demons such as Sen. Howard Metzenbaum of Ohio.

This view is, of course, nuts: In fact, the monumental political achievement of constitutional, representative government, in which a free people manage their own affairs, will be a light unto the ages, and anyway, the real center of evil in the universe is 1111 Constitution Ave., headquarters of the Internal Revenue Service.

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Insight

The holiday season is upon us, a time to gather with family and friends in the spirit of fellowship, to look back at the past year with thanks, to look forward to the promise a new year brings – and to plot revenge against our political enemies.

Unfortunately for such right-wing types as myself, in holiday seasons past, plotting was about as far as we got. This year, however, looks to be different. Thanks to the change in power in Washington, we actually may be able to make the leap from plotting revenge to exacting it.  It is, of course, an awesome responsibility, one not to be taken lightly. If we seem like we are in any way enjoying this task, well, it’s probably just the Christmas eggnog.

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Insight

I have decided that I should open a one-room schoolhouse. In my little schoolhouse, I will have a desk, a lectern, an old-fashioned chalkboard and a pointer. There will be an American flag in the corner of the classroom. In neat little rows in front of my desk will be desks for my pupils – little wooden desks with inkwells. And the desks will be hinged so that my pupils can store their school supplies inside. The little wooden chairs for my pupils will be attached to the little wooden desks, forming little wooden units that my pupils will have to slide into from the side.

And into the little desk units in my one-room schoolhouse, I will put the entirety of the
Washington press corps, minus the tiny number of its members who already have mastered the subject matter that I will teach.

And I will commence the lesson: “Republicans for Beginners.”

I also probably am going to need a lot of dunce caps.

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Insight

The sign on the wall of the Clinton campaign “war room” in Little Rock had three short messages on it, generally attributed to flamboyant political strategist James Carville:

Change vs. more of the same.

The economy, stupid.

Don’t forget health care.

Time for the midterm exam, Mr. President.

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Insight

The past few days, I have been trying to compile a list of the things that are wrong with the Clinton administration’s policy toward Haiti. It’s a daunting task.

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